Firestorm! Hackles of brutal hypocritical Christians raised!

All of the words in the title, above, are used as descriptive words in this article from the UK Independent. What is the Independent reporting on? What could they be using words like that to describe? Is the end of the world nigh?

No. They are reporting that an Oliver Stone movie is not, repeat, not the #1 movie in America.

Why is that news? I'll tell you. There is hardly even a hint that Stone's movie, Alexander (The Great) might not be a very good movie. I don't know personally, as I have not seen the film, having given up on Stone's offerings long ago. But one might think that an article about Alexander being a flop might include on sentence, maybe just a phrase, regarding whether or not the film is any good. One might expect "reporters" to seek out a few people who had actually seen the film and gotten comments, good or bad. Nah, we know better. Because to do so would be to actually convey factual information, something that has nothing whatsoever to do with the purpose of news reporting in the UK.

Instead we get the headline: Alexander the (not so) Great fails to conquer America's homophobes. That headline, so brilliant it need two reporters to nail down the real issue (John Hissock and James Burleigh) is just plain ol' painful to read. Wow, Hissock-Burleigh, why didn't you go with this instead: "Yentl fails to defeat America's anti-Semites"?

They follow up with these marvelous bits of hyperbole, which hands-down win this week's Dexter Filkins award for creative wrting: "Alexander has proved to be the Thanksgiving weekend's biggest flop, and while it is a portrait of a legendary leader who ruled far-away lands more than 300 years before the birth of Christ, it has brutally exposed the cultural and moral divide which slices America in two."

Brutal? Hissock-Burleigh, get a grip. If the only reason a person would not see the movie is because he or she is a homophobe (boo!), and if America is "brutally" "sliced" in two, that means that you are reporting that half of America's population, quite naturally, would see the movie. That means that at matinee ticket prices Alexander should have raked in something like $10,500,000,000 over the weekend, so there might, just might, be another reason for the film not being a hit.

Here is some more British understatement from Hissock-Burleigh: "Christians considering seeing the film have even been urged to "speak to your pastors immediately because Satan is attempting to enter your mind". Naturally, that quote is not attributed to anyone. I will bet you $10, and I mean it, that either Hissock or Burleigh tracked down a known Christian in the office, and said the sentence himself just so he could write such a delightful little sentence in his news story.

Look, Hissock-Burleigh, not ever excuse for a news story has to be a hit piece on Christians. Really. And not every subject that implies homosexuality has to be all about its own gayness and little else. Really. It's boring.

Let's take a left turn, and then start the Christmas season

Mentor and friend to PiratePundit, Professor Bunky (not his real name) sends some thoughts on ol' Ebby Scrooge. Arr! we said, then decided to let a big-brain scholarly-type give us his take on Dicken's Christmas Carol:

A Christmas Carol - How to Fail in Business Without Really Trying

by

Professor Bunky

Every holiday season, we watch at least a half dozen filmed versions of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” to remind us to be charitable and not greedy. The Media loves this tale because it also appears, on the surface, an anti-business story – which warms the cockles of their leftist hearts. I maintain that this story, and in particular the 1951 film starring Alaistair Sim as Scrooge, is also a case study of poor business practices and the importance of moral values in business. So, I’ll use this film version as my reference.

It seems that the same character flaws that made Scrooge a failure as a person also made him a failure as a businessman. The indications are all there in the movie, just not highlighted the same way his moral failures are.

Let’s look at the history of Scrooge’s business career, in the film. He starts off as a clerk for Mr. Fezziwig [editor's note: PiratePundit LOVES Fezziwig! Employ me, good sir!], where he obviously learns something about the business world. Scrooge was also one of several clerks working for Fezziwig, whose business employed a large number of people.

Lured by the possibility of advancement, Scrooge leaves Fezziwig for a new corporation, run by a particularly greasy gentleman. Here, Scrooge meets Marley and they join forces. When the company appears on the verge of ruin, due to the fraud perpetrated by its leader (I think the business was called Ye Olde Enron), Scrooge and Marley gain controlling interest in it. Soon afterwards, Scrooge buys out Fezziwig’s business. In that scene, he offers to keep on a warehouse worker at a lower salary.

So, Scrooge and Marley, Inc. seems to be a large enterprise. They probably bought out other older, declining businesses, besides Fezziwig’s. You would think that Scrooge and Marley was a huge, growing concern with at least hundreds if not thousands of employees.

Yet, at the start of the film, we see Scrooge working in a tiny office with his lone clerk, Bob Cratchit. And a bit later, a poor man comes up to Scrooge in the street, asking for an extension on his loan. So, as far as we can tell, Scrooge (with Marley’s help) managed to take a large, growing business and run it into the ground. It seems that Scrooge’s current business is loaning money to high-risk individuals – hardly the basis for a thriving enterprise, even at loan-shark rates.

One conclusion is that Scrooge is a terrible businessman. And his poor business performance derives from the very same character flaws that make him morally stunted (the same is probably true for Marley, but we know less about him).

First, let’s look at Scrooge’s fear of life. He has a dark view of the world and of humanity in general. He trusts no one and believes that the only way to protect himself is through accumulating large sums of money. In the process he alienates himself from everyone else. He is the antithesis of a risk-taker.

In business, calculated risk taking is necessary for success. A company that takes no risks will stagnate and eventually be overtaken by it’s more aggressive competitors (look at Fezziwig, who refused to change with the times). So, Scrooge probably turned away many opportunities that seemed too risky and simply allowed his business to shrink. Since Scrooge has no faith that events will turn out OK, all his plans are based on negative assumptions, regardless of the circumstances. If you expect the worst, you will probably get it.

Next, Scrooge’s stinginess is probably his “signature” personality trait. This is not the same as thriftiness, which all businesses need to practice. In Scrooge’s case, his stinginess lead him to pay his employees well below prevailing salaries. What are the results of this policy? Probably his best workers left for more lucrative opportunities. Those that remained, typically far from the “best and the brightest” were poorly motivated and had low productivity. In addition, Scrooge probably alienated his suppliers (with “low-ball” offers) and his customers (with high prices). His short-sighted stinginess helped shrink his business further.

So, Scrooge is not only the model for how not to be a generous person (until the end of the film, of course) but also the model for how not to be a successful entrepreneur. I do suspect that after his moral reclamation a lot of smart, energetic people started to work for him and turned the business around, showing that morality and business do mix.

[PiratePundit's note: Professor Bunky's guest spot is not the official Christmas blog entry. That will happen when there is more eggnog and less braininess involved]

So I was interviewed today

I gave a taped interview for a radio network today about some mischief that PiratePundit's alter ego is up to over at CourtZero.org. Something to do with destroying the ACLU and restoring a robust and real representative government. Something like that, anyway.

I have to say that in a very brief interview I was actually asked 4 of the 5 Ws of reporting -- impressive. Well, actually, I was only asked 2 of the 5, but I answered 4 of the 5 (the 5 Ws are Who, What, Why, Where, When, and Why).

We'll see how it sounds after edit and air.

The Ukraine teaches a lesson to CBS, et al

Get this:

"Journalists on Ukraine's state-owned channel - which had previously given unswerving support to Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych - have joined the opposition, saying they have had enough of "telling the government's lies".

Journalists on another strongly pro-government TV station have also promised an end to the bias in their reporting. The turnaround in news coverage, after years of toeing the government line, is a big setback for Mr Yanukovych."

How about that? Over there, that takes real courage. Overnight, faced with a serious crossroad in their national history, they show more courage and ethical fortitude than all the American mainstream press exhibited in our own election cycle.

How would the Ukraine's state-owned channel (emphasis on the words "state-owned") have reported the Swiftvets for Truth story? How about the Bush National Guard story? How about that "unguarded munitions" story (remember that?)?

I know this much. This bunch of second-world journalists who know next to nothing about freedom and democracy would have reported those stories I just mentioned better than CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN, and the New York Times did, without the slightest notion of a shadow of a doubt.

Happy Thanksgiving

Some news organizations get Thanksgiving stories mostly right. The New York Post today reports on Martha Stewart's first jailhouse Thanksgiving; ABC gives us a preview of the Macy's Parade, even though it is NBC that is broadcasting the parade. The Seattle Post-Intelligencier runs a nice story (dateline Heartland, of all possible place names) about a mom driving Thanksgiving dinner to her soldier son before he deploys. Nice. Most of the rest are stories about delays at airports and such. Those stories are more tradition than "news".

The biggest waste of ink, or electrons, in the Thanksgiving reportage comes from Tim Ellsworth of BP Sports (Sports with a spiritual attitude!), who writes an entire column about how the basketball fight and Ron Artest relate to the Thanksgiving holiday. Quote: "The more I thought about it, however, and the more I thought about the Pistons-Pacers brawl, an inspiration hit. Why not combine the two topics?" No, Tim, that's not inspiration, that's only your inner Dexter Filkin urging you to confuse an unusual approach for creative brilliance.

So here's what PiratePundit is thankful for. PiratePundit is thankful for the usual things; he has some wonderful people in his life, and at times such as these runs the line from the Song Signs, by the 5 Man Acoustical Band and later covered by Tesla: "So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign. Thank you, Lord, for thinking about me; I'm alive and doing fine."

Life is pretty good. Thank you for reading PiratePundit. Thank you to everyone who helped CourtZero.org increase its internet ranking over 2,000% in the past few months.

Thank God I live in America and have everything I need and can write anything I want.

And lastly, thank you, Dexter Filkin for all your inspiration.

Hey, Ray, I Love Ya, But....

... instead of taking money away from "armaments" to build up the space program today, how about cutting entitlement programs instead?

(Noted science fiction author Ray Bradbury, 84, appeared 11-23-04 on the Fox News Channel program, "Your World With Neal Cavuto," boosting space exploration. "It wouldn't be expensive," Bradbury told Cavuto. "Just a billion dollars. Armaments cost a billion dollars a day. Just take the money away from them for one day." Bradbury has written such science fiction classics as The Martian Chronicles, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and the Michael Moore-stolen title, Fahrenheit 451.)

Honestly, Mr. Bradbury, I love your stories, I love your books, and I'm a big supporter of space exploration, but we need those armaments. Think twice about where you want to get the money for your space programs, willya?????

-- The author is a proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy

Germany joins the coalition of the bribed and coerced

From the Seattle Times:
BERLIN — Germany and the United States have agreed on a proposal to write off as much as 80 percent of Iraq's debt, Germany's finance minister said yesterday. The Paris Club of creditor nations, which is owed $42 billion by Iraq, must now accept the accord worked out by Finance Minister Hans Eichel and U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow. "Our expectation is that it will be accepted," said Eichel's spokesman, Joerg Mueller.

PiratePundit -- Thank goodness we elected John Kerry President, doncha think? He sure delivered on getting more cooperation from traditional allies, and fast! Could you even imagine the Germans writing off 80 percent (holy cow! 80!) of Iraq's debt if we had re-elected George W. Bush?

Operation Plymouth Rock

Do you know what Operation Plymouth Rock is? If you are a consumer of the American news media, it is highly unlikely you have heard of Operation Plymouth Rock. So what is it?

It is what units of the United States Military are doing today. It is what is going on in Iraq, today. We were told that "Iraq" was a huge issue among voters in the presidential campaign, weren't we?
Yet, I can't find anything of substance about it in the MSM, other than to have the phrase "triangle of death" repeated several times.

Turn to our friends at one of my favorite news sources to learn that:

world powers and Middle Eastern states meeting in Egypt threw their weight behind the war-torn country's first free and multi-party elections in decades.

Wow. I didn't see that coming, did you? World leaders and, more importantly, Middle Eastern states are following the leadership of the United States and obviously think Democracy in Iraq has enough of a chance to get behind it. Wow. I just...I had...I mean, I was watching the news every day during the Presidential campaign, and they just never mentioned that...I thought..quagmire....

Oh well, things are looking good. If you can find a good English-language Indian newpaper to read, you can find out for yourself.

Wisconsin backwoods shootout -- Don't Get Fooled

I want to get out in front of this, because you and I both know the MSM intimately enough that we almost always know what it is going to do and say next, and I am reasonably certain that an otherwise rather stupid story of guys taking their deer hunting a little too seriously is going to become the latest Gun Control Manifesto. More importantly, the MSM is going to do its level best to convince you that it's Bush's fault and that the "repeal" of the "assualt weapons ban" is also to blame, which is convenient because that's Bush's fault as well.

I also predict that Michael Moore will continue to call for the arming of deer.

So, before articles like this one (Wisconsin Hunter Murders Show Need for Effective Assault Weapons Ban - Armed Hunters No Match for SKS Assault Rifle) get more pervasive and annoying, keep some things in mind.

SKS stands for something Simonov. It's a guys name. There' s nothing magic about it, and its basic design has been around since 1945. It has a rate of fire, firing semi-auto, of 20 rounds per minute. Yawn. That's one every three seconds. If that's an assault weapon, it is only good for assaulting nursing homes and turtle farms.

It has a standard 10 round internal magazine. I found one in excellent shape for sale on the web for $170.

Last, but not least, the SKS was never banned under the 1994 "assault weapons" ban in the first place. Let me repeat that, in case Dexter Filkins is trying to follow along. The SKS was not banned under the so-called assault weapons ban. It is an entirely ordinary rifle.

I think the reason the one guy in the Wisconsin woods was able to shoot five armed hunters is not because of his scary scary scary assault weapon, but because he is a criminally insane jerk who showed up with the mindset to aim at human beings and pull the trigger, and the other guys did not.

ONE story gets Fallujah right

Thanks to Milt on the CourtZero message board for bringing this to my attention. Jack Kelly of the Toledo Blade newspaper is the anti-Dexter Filkins, or as I like to say, Kelly is an ADF.

Triumph in Fallujah is the name of the article. I think that everyone should read it.

"Fallujah ranks up there with Iwo Jima, Inchon, and Hue as one of the greatest triumphs of American arms, though you'd have a hard time discerning that from what you read in the newspapers.

The swift capture of Fallujah is taxing the imagination of Arab journalists and - sadly - our own. How does one portray a remarkable American victory as if it were of little consequence, or even a defeat?

For CNN's Walter Rodgers, camped out in front of the main U.S. military hospital in Germany, you do this by emphasizing American casualties. For the New York Times and the Washington Post, you do this by emphasizing conflict elsewhere in Iraq."

Good work, reporter.

Blue State Values, Part 2

I really just feel bad about writing this. I love Wisconsin (Blue State), after all, and I don't mean to pile on, but the mental image this story conjures requires me to pass it on to you.

MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. (Blue State) - Five deer hunters died and three were injured on Sunday in an apparent shootout over who could occupy a hunting platform in a northwestern Wisconsin forest.

Red State Rage, baby. They've identified one disorder common to liberal voters, perhaps this is just another one.

Blue State Values

Burning Cross Left at Home of Interracial Couple on Long Island

Says the headline in the New York Times. That's a shame; I cringe whenever I read a story like that. Really, even noticing an interracial couple is so very passe. At least it is in the Southern Red State where I live, anyway. The very, very Blue 'Gisland is another story, it seems.

No, that's not fair. One incident does not prove anything about the majority of the people living there, of course.

But it does prove that racism isn't a Red State thing. It's an idiot thing. The MSM is hereby advised to keep that in mind.

But get this, if you live in a Blue State an evidently have had, according to the story, one house burning, two cross burnings, and one klan rally in the past ten years, then the New York Times will actually quote the Bible with a straight face.

If Jim McGreevey Won't Apologize, Neither Will I

---by S. Kenshin

On November 15, 2004, former governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey gave his farewell speech, for which he had held a dress rehearsal August 12, announcing he was a "gay-hyphenated-American," much like an African-American, Lithuanian-American, or Canine-American.

At his resignation, McGreevey stood up straight (oops! No pun intended!) and declaimed: "I am not apologizing for being a gay-American, but rather, for having let personal feelings impact my decision-making..."

I guess McGreevey is referring to the decision-making process of posting an Unqualified Foreign National Boyfriend to be in charge of New Jersey’s Homeland Security.

Well, I’m not apologizing either, dammit!

Okay, granted. I’m not neck-deep in political scandal. My biggest campaign contributor hasn’t pleaded guilty to 18 federal crimes, nor has one of my fundraisers been indicted on 11 extortion charges. In fact, I’m not a politician at all! Nor did I bill taxpayers for a lavish family reunion held in a country one whole ocean away from America.

But I do plead guilty to having allowed personal feelings to influence my decision-making.

Yes! I voted for George W. Bush, a Republican.

Therefore, according to the Cultural Elite, I am a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, Dan Rather-Ignoring Bible-thumping half-wit with a taste for violence and gun racks. A Conservative. A Red-Stater. (Or, in my case, a Red Voter in a Cyanotic state).

In other words, I am an Idiot-American.

You oughta hear what the likes of Barbra Streisand and other giants of the intellect are saying about us:
We are the Reign of Witches. (They are, well, the Hollywood Bunch).

How can we not follow their lead, when they are so much more sophisticated than we are? They believe (like writer James Atlas) our administration wants us to be attacked. They know (like all-purpose shill Maureen Dowd) that we, not Islamic terrorists, are conducting Jihad. They read the New York Times. They sip latte. They adore sexual perversion.

They clamor that our states are the ones that had slavery (A couple centuries ago, but when you’re a Democrat, who counts these things?).

Their states are where all the creativity comes from.

Our states have laws requiring drivers to install gun racks in their gas-guzzling SUVs.

Their states are tolerant of diversity (to the point where they have announced their intention to secede).

Our states have homophobic retards who still believe in God.

Well. Not only do we still believe in God---we also believe that adults shouldn’t be dating eight-year-olds. We believe shooting heroin is a bad idea. And so is slaughtering our own young, and paying high taxes so the Blue states can maintain their power base. We also believe France should not be allowed to decide whether we can defend themselves.

It’s not only an over-the-hill Singer-American saying bad things about us Idiot-Americans. It’s also a deafening anvil chorus of actors, musicians, and writers of such towering presence I cannot think of a single name right now.

No, wait. I just remembered one of them. He used to be a politician. I think he was called John Heinz Ketchup or something. After the Presidential election took place, he said, "How could I have lost to that idiot?"

Easy, John. Because that idiot was elected by us Idiot-Americans.

And we have no intention of apologizing.

--(The author is a proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy).

Europe is a Red State

Well, how about this? If America is so divided, what is the rest of the world? Where are America's affluent "blue" people to flee to?

In the past few days, I've read that "European Union justice and interior ministers agreed Friday that new immigrants to the 25-nation bloc should be required to learn local languages, and to adhere to general "European values" that will guide them toward better integration"

Ah, values. Those neanderthal European "values" ministers... How would that statement play on American's blue media?

There's more. I've written this month on Italy being a "Red State". Now Greece is taking offense over Oliver Stone's (blue man, blue state) portrayal of Alexander the Great as bisexual. Now why would Greeks be speaking out about that?

So, here's where we are. Poland is a Red State, Italy is a Red State, Greece and the Netherlands are Red States, yet blue people in the blue media in America continue to tell us day after day after day after day that most Americans are drooling idiots who care too much about values to grasp the wisdom of Europe.

(Dear American media: If you actually listen to them, you are rapidally running out of European countries that really do buy your line of crap),.

Dear TC

It's good to have a graceful and intelligent reader. Tell your friends.

The week in racism

It's been quite a week for bigotry. The big story is how Dr. Rice, the next Sec. State is being treated by the left. Then there is Garrison Keiller joking (ha!) that Christians shouldn't be allowed to vote, then the ACLU smacks around more 10-year -old boys because Boy Scouts believe in (some) god. Linda Ronstadt speaks up again, uncomfortable with the knowledge that "those people" (Christians) might walk among us. Then ABC aired its ridiculous (I call it ridiculous for no other reason than that Nicolette Sheridan has, shall we say, passed her prime) lead-in to this past Monday Night Football, and everyone who was offended at having to explain the fine points of sluttery to their kids watching football is told that they are only offended because it was a white woman and a black man.

Well. Having spent my entire life being told from various cultural and educational sources how bad, bad, bad, I am because of my gender and race, I am a little alarmed that the issue has suddenly risen above its normal level of background noise.

So, I open up my latest edition of The Florida Bar News. Now, it's not technically the MSM, but it is a medium, and here is what it says, on the front page and under the headling "Mentoring Picnic Celebrates Diversity"

As an aside, I always thought that picnics were themselves a celebration, and don't actually DO the celebrating. Anyway. The first sentence goes like this:

"More than a fun picnic with finger-licking-good barbecue ribs and jerk chicken, the inaugural Minority Mentoring Picnic was a chance to celebrate and encourage diversity in the legal profession."

O.K. I am not sure what the food has to do with diversity, but the next sentence clarifies: "The 400 or so...were as diverse as the ethnic side dishes served."

Wow. Good for you, Florida Bar. What else do you have to tell us? "It was amazing to see Judge Fred Seraphin, the state's only Haitian-American judge, flipping burgers and almost every student leaving with a smile...."

Am I the only one made slightly uncomfortable with the opening to this story? Is it just me? The rich, mostly white, mostly leftist liberal leadership of the Florida Bar publishes a story about their commitment to diversity by telling us, "Look, we have lined up people of color, LOOK AT THEM, and WE SERVED THEM THE FOOD WE JUST KNOW THEY LOVE SO MUCH, and DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU SMILE TO SEE OUR ONLY HAITIAN JUDGE FLIPPING BURGERS?

This is for another post entirely, but I can tell you with complete sincerety that every bigot, of whatever color, I have ever met, is a liberal.

Dear Bob Beckel

Yes, you are a racist. I just e-mailed you with that particular comment. For those who did not see Hannity & Colmes Wednesday, Nov. 17, you have no idea what I'm talking about. In a nutshell, he thinks there is no problem with political cartoons calling Dr. Rice a monkey, a parrot, and a shuffling Gone With The Wind-esque ignorant Negro. Because he seems to think it fits her.

For those who did, it is interesting to see the immediate reaction: turn red, point finger, attack the woman, call her sweetie, and ask her "what will you talk about, cooking?" Some of the words you used would get any Republican thrown into jail, dude. But, since you are not a Republican, I enjoyed your meltdown.

Way to go, bigot. Now that you are IDd, the only question is how deep your bigotry goes.

Oh, THAT Fallujah

Well, now the MSM has taken a sudden interest in the performance of the Marines in Fallujah. Why? Because it looks like one of them may have done something less than perfect, and the American media now has the opportunity to smack the hell out of America and her fighting men.

I'll make this short and sweet. If you have no idea what I am talking about, good.

If you do know what I'm talking about, as an attorney and as a former Army officer, my take is that the Marine committed no crime, and depending on things as intangible as how even a twitch was viewed in that room, quite possibly did nothing wrong at all. Quite possibly, he did everything right and saved the life of the embedded reporter who made the story possible.

Think about a garden-variety police shooting. Think about one where there are no racial overtones, no use of way too many bullets, but just an ordinary police shooting where they thought the suspect was pulling gun, but later found out that the suspect had no gun. I think this situation is something like this.

And cops never get in trouble in those circumstances; neither should this Marine. Don't make this into a big deal in your mind, and if your news source of choice is making a big deal out of it, turn it off.

ABC Radio News informs us that....

Doctor Condoleeza Rice is about to become one of the most powerful women in the world, and the first black female Secretary of State. Oh, but that is my statement, not ABC's. No, their story covered other aspects, naturally.

One might be curious and interested in learning more about her. Where did she go to school, for instance? In what discipline did she earn a doctorate, what is her background, what is her political worldview, and how do we know?

Such things might constitute useful information. You know. News.

Instead, all the radio news story said was this "White House spokesman...denied that Rice had misled Americans about the reasons for going to war."

You know, I bet if you had asked, they would also have denied having thrown acid into the faces of random old ladies this morning, at well, but I guess ABC news didn't ask THAT question.

Come on already!! You show up at a news conference, ask the infantile question "Did she mislead...", the spokesman answers, "No," and THAT is all you feed us, your customers, as useful information about the naming of Doctor Rice!!!!!????

Thanks for nothing, ABC News, as usual.

The Press Censors the Military

If you continued to count on the MSM for an idea of what is going on in Fallujah, the fact of the matter is that they just won't tell you. It's one thing to be biased in conveying news, it is another thing to just flat-out refuse to tell you any of the five Ws (who, what, why, where, and when) about the battle and victory in Fallujah.

I hope you're not actually spending 50 cents on that worthless newspaper in your hand.

Here are today's headlines about one of the most startling and striking triumphs in the history of urban warfare:

MSNBC
Crickets chirping. The word Fallujah is not found on their website, except for one mention at the bottom, from days ago: Fallujah's Empty Promise. MSNBC went straight from announcing failure, skipped over the intervening victory, and re-runs the announcement of failure. Bravo.

ABC News: They also refuse to report anything that might hint at a mission accomplished in Fallujah. About a third of the way down on their web page they delare that "Fighting breaks out in Sunni Heartland". Without reporting in any significant way on the taking of Fallujah and the killing of an estimated 2,000 terrorists, ABC focuses instead on handfuls of bad guys who tried to take and hold police stations and the like, and were for the most part all ready driven back or dead by the time the story was written. With no sense of perspective or scale at all, the story remains "Fighting breaks out"

In the shower this morning, listening to the radio, I heard from CBS radio news these words "Days after the US Military declared the city of Fallujah liberated, the Marines are fighting AGAIN". The emphasize in the voice of the female news reader on the word AGAIN was like it would sound in the sentence, "Billy spread mud all over my white carpet AGAIN".

First, the military never announced "liberation". To my knowledge they only used the word occupied. There is a difference. The military chooses words to have very precise meaning. Second, when they said that they were fighting AGAIN, they do not give us any more information at all. What if I had a loved on in that particular Marine unit engaged over there? How informative would I find CBS News to be? Are they fighting China? Are they fighting Doctor Evil? Are they fighting 270,000 enemy troops with overwhelming air support, or are they fighting 3 guys with one RPG and one grenade?

Why does the news refuse to TELL. YOU. ANYTHING?

Meanwhile, the news that the MSM hates most of all, Fox News, actually gets into the five Ws. In the space of less than 2 minutes of time, I learned, direct from the mouths of Marines and Soldiers, the following: they are fighting well-defined pockets of no more than seven enemy at a time, that they (the bad guys) are staying put and pretty much waiting their turn to die, and that they are uncovering several torture chambers with blood stains, binding wire and horrible implements of torture that today are not harming any more innocents.

Meanwhile Drudge runs a flash story that is all first-person comments from wounded troopers who had been flown to Germany. It as all very encouraging, all very inspiring, and all much more informative, in the space of relatively few words, than all of the MSM combines.

I'll say it. The MSM would prefer dead and humiliated Marines than to have to accurately report something that puts the United States of America in a good light. I no longer think that is a shocking or hyperbolic thing to say.

Democrats Decide They Need Better Lies

Democrats Decide They Need Better Lies
by S. Kenshin

After a spirited Presidential campaign in which their weapons of choice included Michael Moore, film-making giant (and we mean that in the sense of girth) and wacky old fabricator Dan Rather, the Democrats have re-evaluated their strategy.

Yup. Saw it early November, I believe, right after the sweeping Bush victory. A whole bunch of them from the Democratic Leadership Council, sitting at podiums and on folding chairs, wringing their hands and trying to figure out what "message" they can give "the filthy homophobic Bible-thumpin' barbarians" in the Red states who don't worship Sex in the City, so they can regain their power over us.

Clinton White House Political Director Doug Sosnik opined that the Democratic leadership "has a cultural disconnect." You think?

He went on to explain that eating at Applebees was the key.

So after a bunch of them no doubt went and ordered lunch there, they still didn’t get it. "What did we say wrong?" they wail. "How can we mobilize our base?" they sob.

DLC founder Al From figured that his party had to convince regular Americans they offered a better alternative to being a regular American.

It all comes down to: "How do we make Godless socialism, Anti-Americanism, high taxes, entitlements, pork projects, hatred of capitalism, and love for terrorists palatable to those Red state dolts? Oh, yeah, and let's not leave out FREE PORN FOR EVERYONE?"

Gee, fellas, sounds like a tough sell to me.

You know what strikes me as irony? The left is forever wailing about "diversity," but they can't stand the fact that most of their fellow Americans are not sneering, military-hating, Euroweenie pervs.

So much so that they want to secede.

Yes, please, do so! Buy yourself an island. Knock yourselves out.

Wonderful idea, sending the Blue Voters to their own island. They've got all the money. Hey, Soros, Ketchup Queen, the rest of you: lead the way! Be as a light unto darkness!

The rest of us will throw you one heck of a bon voyage party.

This is even better than Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, wherein people who ran businesses hid in a valley until the cyanotic-staters cried "Uncle Sam!"

Well, why should we be the ones to hide? Who do they think runs the country? Starts the businesses? Gets the goods and services from here to there? The hippie leftover down the street?

The left doesn't know how the world works. They're filled with resentment because someone earned three more jellybeans than they have. Snail-slurping combovers.

We’ll try not to miss you too much. Somehow, Red-staters will have to carry on without the likes of Linda Ronstadt and Sean Penn. I think we’ll manage. We’re Americans, after all. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

---The author is a member of the vast right-wing conspiracy.

Dexter Filkins, my new hobby

I noted that in today's NYT, Dexter is talking about smoke ("much of Fallujah lies in smoking ruins), and concludes for al of us that fighing elsewhere overshadows the win in Fallujah. Hey, isn't that a value judgment, Dex?

Anyway, as Dexter has become my personally most-amusing dramatic columnist, I am pleased to say that I have found this, no doubt a very partial listing of some of Dexter's greatest hits.

"how" "to" "report" "a" "military" "victory"

The headline of the AP report, picked up in several publications, looks promising. "US Says Troops Occupy all of Fallujah". One only need reach halfway into the first sentence to watch the promise of good reporting die the death by punctuation that afflicts all too many news stories.

The story begins, "FALLUJAH, Iraq (AP) - U.S. military officials said Saturday that American troops had now "occupied" the entire city of Fallujah and there were no more major concentrations of insurgents still fighting after nearly a week of intense urban combat."

So why is the word occupied in quotes? Does that mean that the officials didn't really say it, or that they didn't really mean it, or something else? If the AP writer things it important to put the word in quotes, then why won't the writer tell us why? What did the officials really say??

Of course, the real reason has to be that the writer is offended by reporting that the American troops had now occupied the entire city of Fallujah. Otherwise the quotation marks could have gone anywhere in the sentence. Why not American "troops" had now occupied the entire city of Fallujah. Or how about American troops had now occupied "the" entire city of Fallujah. Or American troops had now occupied the entire city of "Fallujah". It's fun, move those quotes anywhere you want and see how enlightened you get when a news story puts quotes around a perfectly straight-forward word that probably belongs in a story about whether or not a city is occupied.

A couple sentences later one gets to this: Iraqi officials declared the operation to free Fallujah of militants was "accomplished". OK, once again, dear reporter of news, did the officials not say the word accomplished, or do you just wish to insert your personal sneer over having to report such a horrendous thing?

Grow up, AP, and cut it out with the distracting quotation marks. If you don't want to report that sources tell you that the city is occupied, then just don't report it. We know you do that all the time anyway.

Fallujah headlines comparisons

In the spirit of the earlier post, lets look at how the battle in Fallujah is headlined today from various sources:

The New York Times: "Iraqi insurgents shoot down US helicopter", and the one spoken of in the last post, "Black flags are deadly symbols." (That still makes me laugh).

Contrast with PolitInfo.com: "Full Control of Fallujah Could be Hours Away"

Sify, a Hindu site: "US troops control most of Fallujah"

Now let's swing back to American coverage; from MSNBC: "Fallujah's Empty Promise" (You just know going in that you will learn soooo much from MSNBC on this topic, don't you?)

And so on...

NYTimes reporter terrified by fake radios made of cloth and a stick

Why do newspapers like the NYTimes assign reporters to cover the Marines and military matters who don't seem to have the slightest insight into warfare or warriors?

Dexter Filkins, pretty boy and proud holder of a BA in poli sci from the University of Florida (PiratePundit is a Seminoles fan, Mr. Filkins), takes the occassion of the Marines remarkable performance in Fallujah to update the world on what the real news is about that battle.

Black flags are scary, man! I mean these Marines have been dodging mortars and bullets and busting in doors now knowing what would be on the other side for days now, but if they see a piece of dark cloth on a stick, why for sure they will all break down blubbering and its all over for America. To suggest that as an institution the NYTimes wants America to lose, humiliating ly and spectacularly, is a suggestion that can hardly be questioned. They can at least give us some decent writing in the bargain though.

Try this first sentence out: "The stars began to glimmer through a wan yellow-gray sunset over Falluja on Thursday evening. The floury dust in the air and a skyline of broken minarets and smashed buildings combined for the only genuine postcard image this country has to offer for now."

Holy cow. Glimmer, wan, floury? Are you covering Marines, or a Liberace retrospective? And Mr. Filkins, just out of curiosity, how many broken minarets does it take to make a "skyline" of broken minarets?

The military says they have taken out two (count 'em) minarets. So if two is a skyline, how many sarin shells does it take to make a stockpile, NYTimes?

And the postcard thing? The news, as brought to you by the newspaper of record, is that there is nothing to photograph in Iraq. Nothing. No babies are being born, there are no beautiful women since America arrived, sunlight does not reflect on lakes anymore, the sunset in the desert is ugly; damnit, there is nothing to photograph AT ALL in the entire country except for smoke over Fallujah, all because America has come. Yeah, that helps with your credibility.

By the way, I love the sight of black smoke over Fallujah in the morning. That's the sight of victory.

But Dexter can't stop himself there. Dexter notes that the enemy is sending signals to one another using black flags. He fails to mention (listen up, Dexter, someone with military experience is talking) that so isolating and separating the enemy so as to deny them the use of what interior lines, making resupply, rapid movement, and resupply impossible, is A GOOD THING. It is a sign of impending victory, you freak.

Instead of saying that, Dexter says this:

"Set against radio waves, the flags have one distinct advantage: they are terrifying."

To whom, Dexter? Am I honestly supposed to turn to my office mate and say, "Hey, just read it in the New York Times. The insurrgents are scaring the piss out of the Marines, who realize that their integrated fire control systems, near-total surveillance and real-time coordination, rock-solid dedication and discipline and overwhelming firepower are nothing, nothing I say, because the enemy has flags made of t-shirts"?

There is no doubt that the Times will try to spin an historic and impressive victory into a loss. That is as sure as night following day, but at least they could give us more persuasive writer than Dexter Filkins (Go, Seminoles!). Floury glimmering wan postcards of smoke, indeed.

Update to no war for Cocoa

Irony is the central theme of the universe. "On French President Jacques Chirac's orders, French planes retaliated, destroying virtually all of Ivory Coast's modest air force. That stoked long-simmering anti-French sentiments in the main city, Abidjan. Riots broke out. French expatriates were attacked, as were whites of other nationalities. Soon France, Britain, the US, Canada, Spain, and other nations were scrambling to get their nationals out."

You see, before the unilateral French actions not sanctioned by the UN, the people of the Ivory Coast were not attacking, but French arrogance has become a great recruiting tool.

I'm just saying.

Let's define peace, shall we?

Arafat is dead. The TV news today is all Yasser, all the time. In this article from the ABC News website, which is typical of the coverage, the word "peace" is used eight times. Other words, such as father of modern terrorism, Munich Olympics massacre, or drive Israel into the sea, are not mentioned at all. If someone awoke from a four-decade coma today, never having heard of Arafat, they would watch the news and conclude that he was Ghandi.

It's as if the news media refuses to listen to the man's own words. Let's define peace, Arafat-style:

"When we stopped the Intifada we did not stop the Jihad [Islamic holy war] to establish Palestine with Jerusalem as our capital.... We know only one word: Jihad, Jihad, Jihad.... We are in a conflict with the Zionist movement, the Balfour Declaration, and all imperialist activity...."

--- Yasser Arafat, in a speech at the Dehaishe refugee camp near Bethlehem, 22 October 1996 (Yediot Aharonot, 23 October 1996). The Balfour Declaration was Britain's 1917 statement of support for a Jewish national home in the land of Israel

"War! War! Continue the struggle!"

--- Yasser Arafat, in a speech at the Dehaishe refugee camp near Bethlehem, 22 October 1996 (Arutz-7 Radio, 23 October 1996)

....and so on...

Oops! Italy is a Red State

ABC News is rolling today. They feature a story on today's news website entitled "Some say (which pretty much has the same weight as saying 'critics say') US no longer feels like home -- with Bush's re-election, foreign countries look better to them."

Here are some of my favorite parts. "Leora Dowling and her husband thought returning from deep in "red" America to her native New England would make them feel more comfortable, more like the people around them shared their values. Since the election, she's been contemplating another move. To Italy."

One would think that ABC would pause here to mention at least some crticism about Ms. Dowling's bigoted statement, and remind all of us that segration is bad (they want to me with people "like" them -- I thought that was offensive) and to remind us that diversity is our greatest strength. Greatest strength, mind you! Not one of the lesser strengths or even a significan strength, but the greatest of them all. That's what ABC and the rest of the univoice media has told us for ages, but the point of this story is to validate a desire to keep conservatives out of the neighborhood so as to not bring down property values.

Swerve back with me, though, to the last two words of that quote. "To Italy." Yep, Venetia's the place you wanna be, so they picked right up and they moved to Italy. Europe, that is...

And why does Ms. Dowling, as reported by the unquestioning ABC news, want to go to Italy?
"For Dowling, as for others who ABCNews.com spoke with, though the immediate anger may be focused on the president — whether because of the war in Iraq, his stance on same-sex weddings, what they say is his blurring of the line between church and state..."

Now I'm just laughing. Not only does ABC not put the slightest thought into reporting this, they don't even bother to whipser into Ms. Dowling's ear: psst! you might want to change your answer. Look:

"ROME (Reuters) - Italians largely oppose gay marriage with 61 percent rejecting homosexual wedlock and even more opposed to adoption for same-sex couples, a poll on Sunday showed.

In traditionally Roman Catholic Italy, home to the Vatican, only 32 percent of the population is favorable to gay marriage, according to a survey carried out for la Repubblica newspaper.

Only 21 percent of Italians thought a homosexual couple should be allowed to adopt a child."

What a hoot. Italy is a red state.

And there's more:

"Rocco Buttiglione, whose nomination as the EU's justice commissioner was forced to be withdrawn last month, began a public campaign at the weekend to form a European "theo-con" movement for those who believe traditional Christian values should be part of public life.

Mr Buttiglione, a fervent Catholic and friend of the Pope, was forced to stand down after the European parliament balked at his views on homosexuality and marriage.

Rather than retreat, he intends to lead a "battle for the freedom of Christians" against what he calls the "creeping totalitarianism" in Europe that stifles anyone who does not share the beliefs of the majority."

See, ABC readers, if you were counting on your favorite news source to steer you to the correct European state to which to flee America for better times, they would have let you down just as much as they let the rest of us down in bringing us the news.

"Critics Say"

To state the obvious, the news media does everything but give you news. The examples each day are legion. No matter how many times I am burned by my continued naive expectation of information, I still tune in and try to find out what is going on in the world.

So I'm in the car and the ABC radio news comes on to tell me that John Aschroft has resigned and will be replaced as Attorney General. I knew both of those things, and continued to listen.

What does ABC radio news think are the Who, What, Why, Where, When, and How of the story? What information does ABC radio news think the listener will apprecate as informative and enlightening? Will they tell us who the possible candidates to replace him will be? Will they tell us the background or philosophies of possible replacements? Will they tell us what plans General Ashcroft has for his final days in the office?

No, to all of that. Why the hell would the news get into answering questions like those? Instead, the entire substance of the "news story" was that "CRITICS SAY that John Aschroft trampled civil rights."

That's it. That's the story. Enlightening and informative, if I had the intellect of a sea slug. I think now that the election is over the MSM may just go back to pretending that they are unbiased.

No War for Cocoa

If you search for the normally peaceful word "cocoa" in googlenews, all of the results will be about combat and war, and what it is happening to cocoa prices. So what exactly is the French military doing unilaterally intervening in the former colony over which they ruled in imperial fashion?

Well, actually they are surrendering. This from the Agence France-Presse :

"It is time for the Ivorian government to take responsibility for restoring public order," French President Jacques Chirac told a cabinet meeting Wednesday. "We are doing what we can to help our compatriots leave Ivory Coast."

Naturally, the first post would be a test

And that's exactly what it is